Salmon Loki, Empires and Puzzles Review (Updated)

Screenshot of Salmon Loki's Empires and Puzzles Hero Card

A significant update has been added to the bottom of this review, however, the review itself is based on Salmon Loki’s former persona. Because it was humorous, -just how bad he was… Skip to Update?


There were high-fives all around, when the mad scientist at Empires and Puzzles finally finished their latest creation. Salmon Loki was the perfect head-scratcher; a 5-star hero, more pointless than Morris the Miner.

It caused quite a stir among the E&P fanbase, but the fish wasn’t for cooking.

So who is Salmon Loki the Fish? Why the name? Why a salmon? … and is he really as bad as everybody says he is?

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Caveat: This post contains game-play speculation and personal opinion. It may also contain adult comedy and sarcasm. It is not advice and is solely for entertainment, and informational, purposes.

Salmon Loki’s Element, Class, Special Skills, Passives & Talents

Salmon Loki is a season 3 (Valhalla) hero. Here’s his info:

Element: Dark (Purple)

Class: Druid

Mana Speed: Average

Special Skills: 1) Deals 225% to all holy enemies. 2) For 3 turns, the element of all enemies is changed each turn. On the first 2 turns the element is random. 3) On the last turn, enemies revert to their original element. 4) After each element change, enemies take 126* damage if their element is Holy.

Talent: COMPANION ~ +15% chance to summon a Thorn Minion after receiving any damage. The effect is applied at the end of the turn.

The Fish – Empires and Puzzles

Is Salmon Loki worth Levelling? (Empires and Puzzles)

So much has already been said about Salmon Loki, that it’s hard to avoid going over the same ground. He would have had it better as a Funfair prize.

At least then, he would have seen the joy in some kid’s eyes, from the inside of his tiny clear plastic bag. And that’s more than he’ll ever get from any E&P player.

Sure, there’s no fish tank waiting for him, no proper fish food, and no oxygenated water, but there is love.

Love, and eventually, confusion.

Because when that fishy finally succumbs to his woefully poor living conditions and floats to the surface, that kid is gonna be confused.

Why is “Freddy” floating? Why didn’t he eat the bread I gave him yesterday? Is he still alive?

“Look, he moved when I nudged him with my finger!”

And that’s all a child needs; a biological reflex, a flip and a flop, the smallest symbol of life. -Because in the mind of a child, there’s always hope.

And so he gets to thinking, “I know, I’ll flush Freddy down the loo, so he can go to the sea”.

“…Then he’ll get to see his family again…”

I imagine, in that child’s mind, he holds onto a sincere longing for Freddy to once again witness the sun’s light, flash across the face of an endless sea.

Bye bye, Freddy, my dearest friend.

Not for Salmon Loki though. Nothing so beautiful.

Instead, he’s reviled.

No, is the answer to your question, if you’re still here.

Salmon Loki shouldn’t be fully ascended. He shouldn’t see the sun. He should sit on your bench, inside a fish-bowl, for the whole of eternity.

Is Salmon Loki the Worst hero in Empires & Puzzles?

It’s never a good sign, when nobody knows what you do.

I used to work with a few people who had me asking the same questions: Why are you here? Why do they pay you? Why were you born?

And Salmon Loki is the same; nobody knows what to do with him.

I guess we should take a look at his CV and try to figure this thing out…

Firstly, he’s an AVERAGE speed hero. And for that he deals 225% damage to all Holy enemies.

So… don’t go Holy-strong against him.

Then, he starts changing the enemies’ elements, over 3 turns. And I don’t know why.

First I thought, he changes them to Holy so he can slap them or something. But nope. However, he does damage them for 126, if they land on Holy during this shakeup (or if they’re Holy anyway … I think).

And that’s it. The entire show. -Salmon Loki hates Holy and refuses to focus on anything else.

Not great for a 5-star hero.

Sad, that’s what it is. Sad for Salmon, and sad everyone who pulls him. I don’t know what else to say.

Related: How Good Is Nedezhda?

Salmon Loki: The Clown Fish Prince

My final thoughts:

Loki is the God of Mischief in Norse mythology (according to Google…. ’cause I don’t know).

He’s a shape shifter and has appeared as a Salmon, a mare, a fly, and an elderly woman. So this fish thing is all about folklore (of which, I’m sure, many of you already know).

In fact, the whole of Season 3 seems to be locked into this Norse folklore.

But refocusing on Salmon Loki, it’s worth noting, I see no benefit in playing him. At all.

Maybe I’m missing some niche use for him, but I think the fish is for cooking, after all.

[To be absolutely clear: DO NOT FEED THE FISH (because it’ll really hurt if they end up buffing him later on!)]

Salmon Loki’s Redemption (Buff)

Update, Nov 1st 2021: So… they buffed him 🙂

* Instead of the 126 damage dealt to all Holy heroes, it’s now 484…

Let’s take another look at Salmon Loki’s Special Skills (now updated):

Special Skills: 1) Deals 225% to all holy enemies. 2) For 3 turns, the element of all enemies is changed each turn. On the first 2 turns the element is random. 3) On the last turn, enemies revert to their original element. 4) After each element change, enemies take 484 damage if their element is Holy.

I think this buff could be significant, because the enemy element is changed for 3 turns.

That’s a 1 in 5 chance (over 2 turns) to land on Holy and receive this 484 damage. And if the hero’s already Holy, they’ll get another slap when they revert back, on the last turn.

And don’t forget the 225% damage dealt to all Holy heroes at the beginning of Salmon Loki’s Special. All on an Average speed hero.

Imagine him on Raids, where you get to choose what Defense team to attack. -He’ll destroy all the Holy heroes on the squad (the more the merrier). And it’s reasonable to expect, he’ll also catch one or two of the others.

Most 5-Star heroes start a battle with between 1450-1650 HP. The potential of hitting a Holy hero for 220%, then a guaranteed 484, with the possibility of another two 484s, is awesome.

Salmon Loki will now receive a preliminary upgrade, the first of its kind at the Old Cynic.

(Please stand)

Instead of Meek, he will now be considered, Warrior.

And, he may be upgraded further, upon the results of field testing.

Old Cynic’s Hero Grade: Warrior

Grade Revised

What are your thoughts? Did I get it wrong, or did I miss something? Let me know in the comments below.

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Images used byway of review / tutorial – Copyright owned by Empires & Puzzles: Small Giant Games

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