The Hottest Day on Record (My Journal)

It’s the morning of the 19th of July 2022 and the UK is currently enduring a full-blown heatwave. I’m held up in my living room, curtains drawn and waiting out the apocalypse. The streets outside are eerily quiet, I’ve heard nary a bird chirp. And as the sun rises over the famous County of Cambridgeshire I wonder, am I really prepared?

Recently, the Met Office issued a ‘Red Extreme heat warning’, meaning it’s gonna be hot as f*ck.

Yesterday, the temperature reached 38°C, with some news outlets predicting highs of 43 today.

For this highly unusual post, I’ll be sharing my personal journal, documenting events as they unfold in hope of creating a personal record of the hottest day in UK history!

So when the grandkids ask me where I was, I’ll share a link to this post and ask them to subscribe.

This post contains speculation and personal opinion. It may also contain adult comedy and sarcasm. It is not advice and is solely for entertainment and informational purposes.

0901 hours – Hottest Day on Earth Journal

I overslept. Not a good start. The sun is already screaming blue murder overhead but I’ve got to get to the shops. A 5-minute drive away.

It’s like 30°C already.

I need Yum-Yums and Chewing Gum. Not End-of-the-World essentials, but you need some luxuries, or what’s the point?

—

OK, I’m back.

Nothing crazy to report. It was busy with people grabbing toilet roll and fuel canisters. Finally, I got my supplies and got outa there. On getting home, I immediately dowsed myself in water and put the fan on.

1032 hours – Cooking in Cambridgeshire!

The UK ain’t used to this weather. I got my feet in a bucket of cold water, the fan is pushing that warm air left to right, and I’m doing lines of salt like I’m Trainspotting.

I got sweat dripping off sweat.

For the record, I already set up an armistice with the spiders, allowing them safe refuge inside the house for the time being.

I had my kitchen door open after dark late last night, trying to get some cold air in. Needless to say, I had every passing insect trying to claim asylum, too.

In fact, I’m a regular Dr Dolittle, coz I put out food and water in the garden for the vermin and rats. Gotta tide them over as well!

I can’t expect a Peace Prize or anything, but with all this goodwill on my part, I hope the birds can agree to stop sh*ting on my car now.

1248 hours – Keeping the Dog Happy

It’s 38°C, with 16% humidity, and my dog doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. He must think we’ve turned into a right bunch of t*sspots.

Can’t take him out for a walk, and on the advice of something we read, trying not to play with him too much either. I keep trying to wet his belly with water (he hates water), and the curtains are closed.

His anxiety is no doubt slightly raised. But he’s doing OK, which is the point, I guess.

Can’t wait to get him back to the park so he can do what he loves most (sniffing butts and licking bins).

1540 hours – Hot as F#ck!

Real question:

What’s the melting point of eyeballs?

Coz mine feel like they’re glazing over.

Let me check. 1 sec to Google it…

—

I can’t find a decent answer anywhere. It’s like the internet doesn’t take my concerns seriously at all.

It’s fine though, I’ve drenched my face in water. That should do it.

The temperature is now 40°C, with humidity at 15%. Hopefully, it gets better from here.

I’ve been doing loads to mitigate the heat. Big things, like not playing my PS4. Hard times, man.

The worst part about dealing with this kind of heat is trying to drink enough water. I’m trying to stay hydrated while sitting at home. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for someone on the go.

1656 hours – Hottest Day Ever Recorded in the UK

I saw this YouTube video last week about the current heatwave in China. They were cooking eggs on the sidewalk…

I wonder if that would work here?

There’s a big part of me that wants to find out, but there’s a bigger part of me that doesn’t wanna get cooked unnecessarily. I’ll leave that to the kids.

You just get to a certain age where you’re no longer willing to take unnecessary risks. -You reach a point where you say,

• I’m not gonna get up too quickly, coz that might f*ck up my back.
• I’m not gonna drink too much alcohol, coz that might f*ck up my body.
• I’m not gonna expose myself to record-breaking temperatures on a jollies, coz that might f*ck up my equilibrium.

1806 hours – Is it Over Yet?

The main problem for UK households is that homes weren’t designed to be cool. Quite the opposite, and none of them have AC as standard.

We’re just not equipt for extremely hot weather in this country.

Of course, they’ve been preaching Climate Change forever, whilst flying around in those fancy Jets. I was always baffled… Why are they talking at me? Like I own the multinational corporations that they’ve got shares in? 😁 Or have an ‘interest’ in.

I don’t wanna get political, but when they want me to pay taxes, they’re plenty capable of getting at it. But when it comes to the Big Boys, not so easy I see.

If they want me to change my habits, they simply have to pass a new law to make it so… Again, not so easy with Mates expecting better Rates.

Preaching Climate Change to me is simply a waste of resources.

I suspect, and call me a cynic if you will, but I suspect this is really all about money.

I suspect, Climate Change will become a priority when it’s financially viable.

Now, I’m no denier, but I’m also no confirmer; my standard operating procedure is to remain dubious if it’s coming out of a TV set.

But in all sincerity, Trust is another big issue here, followed by the lack of any real discernable plan.

The whole thing’s a muddle.

1923 hours – Officially the Hottest Day in UK History

It’s been reported that temperatures reached 40.2°C at Heathrow today. Making it officially the hottest day ever recorded in UK history.

The previous record was 38.7°C (101.7 F), set in 2019.

Not gonna lie, that was OK. The prepping and luxury of being able to regulate my temperature really helped. Now to resume our normal bleak UK weather asap…

Thanks for coming along for the journey.

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